Real village

We have friends here who moved to a village last year. They have already made enemies with their neighbours over some trees, and need to go to court to settle it.

Another friend in a different village was reprimanded for not dressing her kids in nice enough clothes.

Our solicitor told us the story of a guy who put up a fence 1.1 metres high to separate his garden from his neighbour's. But the contract for the development said that fences could only be 1 metre high. So the neighbour made him pull it out and put in a new one.

In three weeks, we are moving to a village.

When we started telling people here we were going to move to C's village, they would immediately turn to me and say And are you OK with this? Seriously, every single person.

Um, yes? I'm actually looking forward to it?

But I have to admit, after hearing these stories, I'm getting a little apprehensive.

We have to share our garden with whoever buys/rents the other half of the house. We've been optimistic about this, figuring that we are pretty easygoing and so there shouldn't be any problems. But it could be awful!

And then the neighbours in the surrounding houses, well, they're either members of C's family or members of his godfather's family. So a neighbourly row would be kind of a very big deal!

And the house, well it's been a labour of love for C's godfather. He contracted out some of the work, but he's done a lot of it himself. He's restored the 300-year-old walls, fixed the collapsing roof, chosen an interesting architecture, gone to Portugal to choose the floor tiles and kitchen counter tops... there is nothing there that he hasn't thought about. And so even if we would have chosen some things differently had we decided to buy the house earlier, we can't deny or not appreciate the effort that he has made. Which, ah, makes it kind of difficult if we want to change anything!

When I was in Japan, I was driving without a license. I never bothered getting an international license as it never occurred to me I might drive in Japan, and then once I was there and occasionally driving my neighbour's car, it was such an effort to go to the town I needed to go to (2 hours on the bus) that I just never did. I knew the risk I was taking, and I decided I would just deal with the consequences if worst came to the worst.*

Well, word of my license-ness got around, and one day my boss asked me to please get a Japanese license, as his boss had told him he would be in trouble if I did not. And I hated and resented this way of controlling people, of making you do things by threatening someone else. Yes, it's effective, and yes, I went and got my license - how could I let my boss get the rap for my irresponsibility? - but it's just so crappy. I should be the only one responsible for my actions.

This is what I am most apprehensive about, the idea that I will feel unable to do certain things not just because it may lead to direct conflict, but also because I may feel responsible to other people. I'm sure I'm overreacting - I mean, the most controversial thing I plan to do at the moment is plant a tree in the garden. I'm going to have to get used to the idea of being watched and commented on - it is a village after all - but please please please it won't be worse than that!

And, I guess, we do have the consolation that if we hate the people living next door, we can build a fence as high as we like to split the shared garden.

* No lectures please Miksy.