Is this for real?

So I'm struggling a bit with finding my voice for this blog.

I like crafting a story - but it's not how I would speak over a cuppa, is it? And even less these days with an interruption every sentence and a half, either from a preschooler with Very Important News, like Mummy! Listen to me! I am a boy! or a baby with something in his mouth that shouldn't be there.

Plus, I'm a little self-conscious that the stories are maybe too neat. Because I do worry about having some kind of ending. And often, the morning after I've posted, I'll go back and edit to make it better.

I also worry that my voice may not be my own - there are other bloggers I admire with distinctive styles, and sometimes when I'm thinking of a story in my head, it sounds like them. This is bad.

And then there's the subject matter. Because so far it's almost all about my kids, and actually, even though I don't always succeed, I do try hard to NOT be someone who only talks about her kids. It's a pity blogs weren't around before I moved here - I had way more entertaining stories before then. (But just to say: a certain fairy godmother over in Texas has specifically asked for T-boy stories here, so if you think there are too many, well, it's her fault.)

And also, whatever I experience has been experienced by far more talented writers than me. I didn't start this blog with dreams of being a great writer, it is really just to keep in touch with people - but still, it makes me self-conscious to read what I have thought, written in a much better way in another blog.

And then there's the audience. I would like to have the courage to tell a wide range of people about the blog, from my close friends to my whole family and even perhaps to friends of my parents. In person, like everyone, I speak differently to different people. Here, I cannot. And I am uncertain of how to balance writing how I want about what I want, without ever offending anyone.

Maybe the best thing to do is apologise here in advance if you are ever offended by my opinion, subject matter, boringness, or vocabulary. And then just get on with it.