Win-win

So last month the constant, repetitive droning of my own nagging voice was driving me a little crazy. Don't eat with your fingers, put your school things way, don't leave your socks on the couch, get dressed, put on clean underpants, brush your teeth, tidy up those toys, don't get up from the table without asking, get your recess, don't speak so rudely .... on and on and on, all day, every day. The complete ineffectiveness was slightly frustrating too.

I knew it was time for a new approach to Raising Polite and Somewhat Civilized Humans... but what? A quick slap, while veerrrryyy tempting from time to time, is a non-starter. Explanations and endless reminders go nowhere. Yelling likewise. Time outs are losing their impact. And I've always been pretty hopeless at sticker charts - we start out OK but then I forget to put on the stickers, or the kids don't care if they miss one, or I end up still nagging anyway.

Then I came across a new sticker chart system - and I love it! A smiley for doing things right, a cross for not doing them right; a reward after a certain number of smilies, a chore for every cross.

The first week, I didn't have to: empty the cat litter, empty the dishwasher, vacuum downstairs. Not once. Last weekend C and I relaxed while the kids: cleaned the car, cleared the table after lunch, and removed leaves from the trampoline.

I've kept it up because I've got incentives either way - I win if the kids do what they're meant to, and I win if they don't. Bonus: the still winning if they fail makes it very easy to not be annoyed and nag, even though I can see the fail coming.

You think it's more of an effort to put your socks in the washing machine than to stuff them among a pile of magazines and then, once you've been discovered, have to put them in the washing machine AND empty the dishwater? Go right ahead!

It's brilliant.

Well, I think so.

The kids may think otherwise.