Cookie lessons

Here's a bit of a confession, if you hadn't figured it out already: I am a little obsessive about what enters my children's mouths. I don't like them eating sausages or salami or ham, because of the fat and preservatives. I limit salt. They are required to eat vegetables, legumes and quinoa, and only get brown, grainy bread. No caffeine. And sugar... well, ideally they'd never get any of the refined sort, except for a few widely spaced special occasions.

Of course, the real world pops my little bubble on a regular basis. But still, overall, their diet mostly reflects my views on nutrients, GI, and agriculture - and they eat what I prepare without too much complaint.

With one exception, that is: Téo firmly believes that he does not get enough lollies. And that I am a bad mother because of this.

I can live with that. Well I could, until recently.

You might remember me mentioning that a certain child was having difficulties with impulse control and respect for other people's property? Well, it turns out that extended to other people's chocolate. Smaller people's chocolate. During recess at school. The recess where I thought he was happy with fruit and a rice cake, like he is at home.

Discovering this was not a parenting highlight. More like a punch to the gut, really.

Clearly, it had to stop. But I also realised, for the first time, that Téo is never going to think he gets enough sugar, and I am always going to think he gets too much. And given he can't help having inherited a sweet tooth, it would be better to show healthier ways of eating sugar than banning it completely. And if I want my children to embrace a philosophy of kindness and flexibility*, then I need to make compromises myself.

So after the punishments and consequences and explanations and lectures were done, I told him that while I will never give him a lolly or chocolate for recess, I would make him something sweet that also had vitamins and would give him energy for longer. Like modified walnut slice, for example, or similarly modified chocolate chip cookies (with oats and wholemeal flour) (and walnut oil instead of butter) (and banana so I won't snack on them) (oh, OK, I added wheatgerm too).

It seems to be working - he appears delighted even with my modified recipes, and unlike previous instances when I've made cookies, doesn't seem to be sneaking more than the one-per-day limit. I don't know if it's related, but the other problems with impulse control and respect for other people's property seem to have diminished too.

On my side, I'm finding it a little hard, this shift of viewing treats as a rarity to an everyday snack. But I'm concentrating on the good things in those treats, and hoping I'm teaching the right lessons here. Good, lifelong lessons.

Lessons that do not include that stealing leads to your mother providing home-baked goodies.

* a philosophy I took from here (although I can't find the exact post).