Trust

- So Lukan, tomorrow you're going to the hospital.

- Yesh, hoshpital. Wif papa.

- And you're going to be in a bed, and the doctors will put you to sleep, and then they'll take the water out of your ears.

- Yesh. And den?

- And then you'll wake up, and papa will be with you, and then you can come home.

- Yesh.

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It breaks my heart how trusting he is - in the decisions we make for him, and in what we say will happen to him. He doesn't ask why he has to have the fluid drained from his ears, has no inkling that any of his trip to the hospital might be frightening, or that it might hurt afterwards, or that he might never wake up.

But that last possibility, that the anesthesia will kill him, frightens me.

I know it's a very minor operation, having your adenoids out and your ear canals drained. I know only a tiny percentage of people react badly to anesthesia. I know it's not rational to feel this unease.

But still, I feel it.

He's on the operating table now.

And I can only trust that he'll be back home soon.