Would I smell as sweet?

Have you ever thought how odd it is that, in general, we so strongly identify with our names? Names we did not choose for ourselves?

I can't imagine myself as anyone other than Emma D***** - so much so that I absolutely could not change my name once married. Emma M***** would just not be me. Even though really, having my father's family name is just as arbitrary as having C's father's.

It's not even as though my name is unique. I came across the first not-me Emma D***** at age 15. On Facebook there are 212 others. There must be thousands of us out there. But in my mind, I am Emma D*****.

Which makes a well-known writer for a major news publication with my name a bit of a bugbear.

People are always disappointed to find out I am not her.

In the first week at my former job, I had a phone call from a senior person in India, eager to talk to THE Emma D*****. He abruptly hung up when I said I wasn't her. Once my friends called me, all excited about an article they saw by Emma D*****. That phone call didn't last long either.

Today someone once again confused me for her. This time it made me smile, as the other Emma D***** had contacted their boss, a CEO of a major company, about an article for the major news publication, while I was after a biography. Not quite the same league. But still, having to say no, I am not her yet again grates on me.

I'm not jealous of her, I don't have any feeling for her at all, really - after all, I don't even know her. So why do I hate being asked if I am her? Maybe because the fact that she is a famous writer and I am not seems to somehow reflect badly on me? Maybe because I want recognition for my own writing at her level - like all the opinion pieces published in major news publications that I wrote in other people's names?

It all boils down to the name. I feel I am competing with her, simply because we are writers with the same name. Ridiculous, but there you have it.

And a small part me can't help but hope that maybe, just once, she has been confused for me.