Here comes the sun

So last week I was feeling a bit sorry for myself. There was the inconsolable misery that was Lukan thanks to a bad cold and conjunctavitis and a new tooth all at once. There were extended wails because I said that dessert required the eating of ones dinner with a fork and not fingers. There was C not being around much - like 17 days in the past month. There was being exhausted each night after work and chores. There was the unpleasant feeling of being boring and completely housebound. There were dark thoughts about being a mother; about needing to be constantly on to soothe, to discipline, to feed, to clean, to teach, to listen; about not feeling up to this never-ending, monumentally important, monumentally tedious task.

And then today, for the first time in a couple of weeks, it was sunny. Perfect weather for my favourite day of the year, when the Earth turns towards the northern spring and summer. It even felt like there was more light this evening - a trick because of the clear skies and the fact that I finished work an hour earlier than I have been lately, but nevertheless the wintery sunset over the mountains was beautiful. And this, combined with Lukan feeling better, and Téo being so sweet and loving, and my deadlines being mostly met for the year, and C home for a while, and the sure knowledge of how incredibly lucky I am, felt like a kind of turning point for me too.