Squirrelly

Once upon a time, the kids were wanting. I want a Lego Star Wars space ship. I want a drink. I want another piece of cake. I want to go now. I want, I want, I WANT!

"I would like..." I kept correcting them, but to no avail. They kept on wanting. So then, à la Veruca Salt, every time they said they wanted something, I replied that I wanted a squirrel.

I want a scooter for my birthday.

Yeah? I want a squirrel.

I want an ice cream.

That's nice. I want a squirrel.

They hated this. H-A-T-E-D it. But it worked! There were a few tears and stomps and sulks, but in a very short time, they stopped wanting! I was very pleased with myself.

--------------

Earlier this year, Lukan kept asking us whether we liked him. All. The. Friggen. Time.

Mummy?

Yes Lukan?

Do you like me?

5 min later: Mummy, I have a question. Do you like me?

5 min later: Papa, do you like me? 

It drove C and me insane. It didn't matter if we said we did like him, he kept on asking. It didn't help either when we refused to answer any more.

Come on, just tell me, do you like me? Why won't you tell me? It's one little question! Do you like me? If you answer I won't ask any more, I promise. Do you like me?

Needless to say, the promise was broken. Repeatedly.

After a couple of months, I tried a new response.

Mummy, do you like me?

I like squirrels.

At first he took it quite well.

Well, I can see why you'd like squirrels, they are kind of cute, but I'm cute too so why don't you like me?

But by the end of the first day, he was getting cross. And by the second day:

Mummy, do you li... no! No! Don't answer! I didn't mean to say it!

By the third day, he wasn't asking any more. This time I was quite smugly pleased with myself.

--------------

One day over the summer, something upset Lukan. He climbed into my lap, crying, but wouldn't tell me what the problem was. That night, when I kissed him good night, I asked if he wanted to talk about it.

Yes, he replied seriously. Actually I would. But I'm only going to tell ... a squirrel.

Touché little man, touché.

--------------

Except:

Bwa ha ha ha ha!

He'd been so looking forward to getting his Christmas ornament this year, wondering what it would be and guessing all sort of things.

Ha!

I'm back to feeling very pleased with myself.