Closure

After the hormones settled down, I was pretty much OK with no longer being pregnant. A bit touchy sometimes, but OK.

The family supper at Easter- featuring two new baby girls - brought a few pangs, but nothing too bad.

At the beginning of August, just a few weeks before what would have been the due date, I held a baby girl and felt nothing other than happiness for our friends. No longing, no what-ifs, nothing. And I was so busy around the due date - being on holidays, then finishing up the maternity replacement, preparing for Lukan's birthday party and the kids starting school - that I don't think I would have even thought about the baby that wasn't there ... if the universe hadn't decided to get in a few last digs.

The first was at the bed and breakfast we stayed at in Italy, when during communal drinks with a few other families one night, one of the women turned to me and said you wouldn't want to go back to the beginning and have another baby, would you?

Uh, well...

The next was in my last week of work, when a colleague asked if we would try for a third child.

Ahhhh...

And the last was when an acquaintance returned my copy of Baby Love, prompting others in the group to ask if I had some exciting news.

Actually...

I was caught off guard each time... not stricken, but knocked about a little. Thanks universe for the reminders!

But I'm OK. The due date has passed, I'm on the pill, life is full and good, there is nothing lacking.

And universe, if you could also be finished with this particular joke, I'd be grateful.