My boys

When I was pregnant with Lukan, strangers would always be asking me whether I was having a boy or a girl. And of all these people, only one - ONE - said oh how lovely, two boys. For the rest, at best I'd get something like that will keep you busy. And at worst, a look of disappointment and an oh well, that's nice too. I grew to expect it, steeling myself every time someone asked. I knew that if we were having a girl, all these strangers would have been delighted for me. It pissed me off.

Then Lukan was born, our second perfect, beautiful child. And those fucking strangers, they still had the nerve to deem him not right.

The worst was an old woman in the bus when he was two months old. I was with both boys, with Lukan in the Baby Bjorn, and she asked me if he was a girl. When I said no, she replied oh, what a shame. I was OUTRAGED. But my response was limited by shock and my French - all I could say was no, it's not a shame at all. But I was furious, and hugged my boys tight.

I can't remember the number of other people, all old women and actually, all also mostly on the bus, who have also expressed disappointment. It's died down more recently - I am guessing because now he's a happy baby smiling at them from his stroller, rather than an abstract bump either in my belly or asleep in the Baby Bjorn. But still, last week, after smiling and cooing at Lukan, yet another old lady looked at Téo and said two boys? and when I nodded yes, I could see the judgement pass in her eyes that we fail to be the ideal family.

It's true that had I been given the choice before Lukan was conceived, I would have chosen a girl. Not because I think that a family should be mum, dad, a boy, and a girl, but because, well, why not choose something different the second time? And I guess I am curious to know what it would be like to have a girl. But that's in the abstract. The reality is Téo and Lukan, and I don't want anyone else as my children. Their being boys is even a bit beside the point - they are them, and I love them.

And as lucky and blessed as I felt each time we knew we were having a healthy baby, it's nothing to how lucky and blessed I feel now, with the kids I have:



How is this not ideal??

And yes, I know, we have a problem getting Téo to wear trousers.